Key events
I’m a soft touch this time of night… (but this does look good).
Right, with it all in the balance, but Joe Root on the way to atoning for his Yorkshire on Yorkshire sins, I’ve got to make a cup of tea. Back shortly.
Lunch England 168-5, need 90 runs to win
44th over: England 168-5 (Root 74, Stokes 20) Southee, smart in black piping , sends down the last over before lunch. Root picks a single, a leaden footed Stokes struggles through the rest of it – ignoring and blocking. Quite the session: 120 runs, four wickets, 33 overs.
“Why doesn’t Stokes retire hurt?” asks Stephen Dobbie. “And let Root knock them off with Foakes playing proper test cricket. Surely he could always come back if the Nighthawk and Englands fit all rounder don’t get it done…without troubling the old man into padding up?” I think he would see it as a personal failure.
43rd over: England 167-5 (Root 73, Stokes 20) England need 258 to win.Root, on the charge, has decided he needs to get a wriggle on, so that his captain can limp through till lunch. Crunch, he lifts Bracewell for six. Then a sweeping dab, just over the fielder, for four. Stokes gets a quicker one last ball that nearly skids through the defenses. We’re on the brink of lunch.
42nd over: England 156-5 (Root 62, Stokes 20) England need 258 to win.Might New Zealand, the commentators muse, try some short stuff against the limping Ben Stokes? I think they might. Not this over though. Southee sure and steady.
41st over: England 155-5 (Root 61, Stokes 20) England need 258 to win. Stokes’s knee is causing him serious gyp. It seems to lock as he plays a cut shot, momentarily immobilising him. And as he tries to run (after flaying a ball that eventually goes for four) he ends up hobbling like a old man.
40th over: England 151-5 (Root 61, Stokes 16) England need 258 to win. Lovely and full from Southee, finding some swing. Root picks up a couple through third.
“I have just got up (I live in Asia) and logged in to check the score. 1443 for 5. A record, surely. Tuesday is obviously going to be a great day.” Craig Shepherd, may I refer you to Pedant’s Corner? You’ll find quite a few OBOers are already there.
39th over: England 149-5 (Root 59, Stokes 16) England need 258 to win. Bracewell has settled into a rhythm now, and England are content to knock him for a fistful of singles. Good news for New Zealand as Henry, after a spell on the rack, is ready to come back on the field.
38th over: England 146-5 (Root 57, Stokes 15) England need 258 to win. England only pick up singles off Southee, but that’s all they need. The target is only 112. On the green slopes of the ground, Wellington locals lean back and shoot the breeze.
37th over: England 1443-5 (Root 55, Stokes 14) England need 258 to win. A maiden from Bracewell.
“Can we please drop the myth that Brearley was some sort of King Solomon-Alexander the Great hybrid? writes Marcus Abdullahi.
“He was whitewashed in Oz, dodged West Indies twice (as well as India away), and with both bat and supposed superbrain cost England a World Cup final. Stokes is streets ahead – and that with Crawley up top rather than prime 1977 Boycott.”
Rewrite Brearley? You’ll be telling me Drake wasn’t really playing bowls on Plymouth Hoe next.
36th over: England 1443-5 (Root 55, Stokes 14) England need 258 to win. Stokes pushes with hard hands at Southee but luck is on his side, and the thick edge flies behind where it is stopped by a flying Neil Wagner on the boundary. Still half an hour till lunch.
35th over: England 139-5 (Root 54, Stokes 11) England need 258 to win. Bracewell, dirty right knee, trundles in. Lovely action, some nice turn. Stokes is watchful.
“I’m not sure about this idea of removing a consonant from Pope’s name,” sniggers Ed Bayling. “It’s the ‘ope that kills you…Anyway, ‘ave a good evening!”
34th over: England 138-5 (Root 53, Stokes 11) England need 258 to win Bad news for New Zealand as Matt Henry pulls up after bowling the fifth ball of the over – it looks as if his bat has spasmed. The physio runs out and pulls him around, stretches his back. He can stand, but not bowl, and walks off the field. Southee finishes the over, which Stokes defends.
@tjaldred Do we think Bracewell won’t much care about being carted round the ground by Root a few minutes ago once he’s remembered his name is against the Brook run-out and doubtless about 150 saved runs?
— Paul Gilham 💙 (@Paul_Gilham) February 27, 2023
33rd over: England 135-5 (Root 52, Stokes 9) England need 258 to win. Southee brings Bracewell back for a settling over, that leaks just one run. Root calls for a drink and Matthew Potts wipes down the bottle with a towel like a good French waiter.
Meanwhile Adam Hirst in Rio is suspicious of Root’s motives. I”’m not buying it! Little Joey knew exactly what he was doing there. That’ll teach you to steal my thunder, young man! He’s never made such an ignored century before. He’ll have to score another now to make up for that.”
Fifty for Joe Root!
32nd over: England 134-5 (Root 51, Stokes 9) England need 258 to win Root’s second fifty of the match – in a career of 29 hundreds and 57 fifties. Not Henry’s best over tbh – serves up a wide one for Root to cut for four, and another wide one which Stokes launches into and sends over the slips for four more. Did someone press play on the Bazball tape?
“Can anyone see the Northern Lights? You asked a few overs ago. Yes, in my dreams. Of long ago, 1980 in Alaska, on a nuclear base (Don’t ask).” I now have so many question Robert Lewis.
31stth over: England 125-5 (Root 46, Stokes 5) England need 258 to win Root drives through cover one one knee like a man drawing a finger through a bowl of whipped cream before gobbling it up.
Evening Tanya,” Hello Martin Wright.
“That Brook run out: am I being hopelessly old school in thinking surely it was his call? I mean, when the ball goes behind the wicket, doesn’t the non-striker have the say so? Couldn’t he have just yelled ‘No!’. Or was Root too far down the track? What am I missing here?”
Unfortunately the camera angle doesn’t show us what was happening at the non-strikers end but – basically – yes, it should have been. Maybe he didn’t feel confident enough to tell Root no?
30th over: England 120-5 (Root 41, Stokes 5) England need 258 to win Uneven bounce suddenly coming into play. Henry beats Root with one that suddenly flies, he edges -but just short of slip. Then Stokes gets a hot potato, which he edges over the keeper.
29th over: England 117-5 (Root 38, Stokes 5) Root unfurls a straight drive to die for off Wagner. Purrrrrr.
From Jonathon Broscombe :“I can’t be the only one … [er] …to have read Kim Thonger’s pedantry in forensic detail and be delighted to point out a dropped consonant in Pope may lead to Poo but not Pop.”
28th over: England 112-5 (Root 33, Stokes 5) Bracewell replaced after that expensive over, by Henry. He’s on point, beating Stokes’ outside edge and the last ball rises out of nowhere, catches the top edge of Stokes’ bat, onto the fingers of BLundell’s gloves and flies over the slips for four.
Kim Thonger – what have you done?
Ben Smith removes the lid from his fountain pen: “Re. Kim Thonger’s pedantry – ‘Pop’ has been reduced by a vowel, not a consonant. Good to know that as England collapse and Bazball fades into our memory, the OBO can revert to the white heat of pedantry.”
And Kevin Rodgers, “Surely to get ‘Pop’ for our teletubby trio you need to remove a vowel from a name, not a consonant. Just sayin’.”
Jeremy, “Please tell Kim Thonger for me and all my fellow pedants that if you remove a consonant from the name of Pope you may get Ope or Poe, but certainly not Pop.”
And Matt Harriott, “Not one usually one to jump on a bandwagon but if pedantry is the theme of the hour it feels appropriate to point out that Pope less a consonant would be Poe. Maybe the latest iteration of the nighthawk should be The Raven?”
27th over: England 106-5 (Root 31, Stokes 1) An edge! Wagner twisting yarns and Stokes is drawn in – but it falls just short of Latham at slip. They take drinks – New Zealand’s hour.
“I suppose after Root’s crazy call, the least he can do to make it up to Harry Brook is to play a (former) captain’s innings in tandem with current captain Stokes.,” taps Colum Fordham. “What a finely poised match. England’s two best players in a precarious position but extremely capable of making amends, with the Kiwis desperate to wreak Revenge on defeat in the first test.Wagner is bowling very well and getting bounce. He Could prove quite a handful. Fine day’s (morning’s) test cricket in prospect.”
It should be a thriller!
In other news, can anyone see the Northern Lights?
26th over: England 106-5 (Root 31, Stokes 1) Root takes out his frustration on Bracewell – prancing down the wicket to ping him for six, and sweeping him viciously for four. Another short one is dispatched for four more. Southee and Williamson give him a quick pep talk, but the next one is short again – only stopped by Latham’s ribs at short leg.
25th over: England 89-5 (Root 14, Stokes 1) Wagner slips over in his follow through, spears down a pillow on the leg side and Root gratefully accepts a single. England grateful for crumbs right now.
24th over: England 86-5 (Root 12, Stokes 0) Southee, tail up, manages one more. Stokes – Bazball temporarily in the bin – plays out a maiden.
This is becoming interesting…
— Whittaker Walt (@whittaker_walt) February 27, 2023
Worth staying up for.
23rd over: England 86-5 (Root 12, Stokes 0) Root edges Wagner through the gap where third slip would have been and picks up four. Not a nerve settling four, but a four nonetheless.
“Could I respectfully point out to a previous correspondent whose name escapes me,” hisses Kim Thonger, “that Alan Knott had two ts in his name not one. Pedantic it may be but where would we be if we reduced the number of consonants in names willy nilly? Our middle order would be Roo, Broo and Pop which sounds like something from Teletubbies. I cannot let it lie.” And where would the OBO be without a healthy dose of pedans?
22nd over: England 80-5 (Root 6, Stokes 0) Root puts his head in his hands as Brook finishes his first run and trudges off without having faced a ball. Possibly the worst run Root has ever called in his entire career. England now on the rocks.
WICKET! Brook run out 0 (England 80-5)
Oooops. Brook run out without facing a ball. Root dabs behind and sets off without looking, but a superb pick up and throw at slip destroys the stumps with Brook still four paces out of his crease.
21st over: England 80-3 (Pope 14, Root 6) The heavy footed Wagner drops short and Ollie Pope slams him through midwicket. Two balls later, he’s on his way. Never quite looked in the mode today.
WICKET! Pope c Latham b Wagner (England 80-4)
A smashing take tumbling backwards at first slip, as Pope has a limp cut
20th over: England 76-3 (Pope 10, Root 6) A leg bye the only runs off the excellent Southee, who is a weather-beaten mix of Stephen Fleming and Brad Pitt.
“Evening Tanya.” Brian Withington!
”Oh, Tom! When did we start picking and choosing our preferred heroic match-winners?! I’d settle for any one of the England team seeing us limp over the line here. 258 looks a very long way at the moment.”
19th over: England 75-3 (Pope 10, Root 6) “It’s never a good sign when one hand comes off the pull shot,” says David Gower, as Pope swats a fly. But he picks up four past the slips, and a couple more as Henry’s over costs 11.
18th over: England 64-3 (Pope 1, Root 4) The excellent Southee keeps the pressure on. Pope off the mark but looks jittery. Root already stepping into his hush puppies.
“Can I add my thanks to so many others; as the working day draws to a dank, dark close hear, I’m grateful to the OBO for keeping me in touch with the important happenings of the day. I moved here before my twins were born (to my wife, for clarity) and they turn 19 next month. when they were very little I compared their speech to the nurdle methodology one I Ron Bell utilised at the crease. They’re now full grown exuberant adults, having obviously followed the development of the team in the full Stokes mold.”
Thank you John Sims!
17th over: England 61-3 (Pope 0, Root 2) Root picks up a couple immediately off his toes but suddenly England have two new batters at the crease, and the ball is new.
“I’d love it if Duckett could be the hero tonight. He’s been there bustling away in the background all winter and putting in cameos, but never quite grabbing the headlines. Meanwhile, Root, Broad, Anderson, Leach and Robinson have all had headlines for their redemption stories following questions being asked about their longevity and ongoing suitability; Pope is being bigged-up as a future captain; Brooke as a future Bradman; Foakes ans the modern Knot and Stokes as the modern Brearley. It’s got to Duckett’s turn to shine today.”
Sorry Tom Vd Gucht, posted this just a minute twoo late
WICKET! Duckett c Blundell b Henry 33 (England 59-3)
Well now! Duckett squeezes his eyes shut as he trudges off, his mouth a squeeze of lemon. A daft swipe is picked up by Blundell
16th over: England 53-2 (Duckett 27, Pope 0) The target drops below 200.
Tom Hopkins points out possible email issues. My email, which should work… is tanya.aldred.freelance@theguardian.com.
“Evening Tanya,” Hello Tom!
”Another Test winter draws to a close and as I’m still not prepared to pay Rupert to watch it the OBO has been my window into Baz’s world.
I’ve no idea how you keep it so vibrant in the middle of the night, but I’m very glad you do! Heartfelt thanks to you and all the other OBOers.”
Thank you for your very kind words on behalf of my colleagues – the job is a pleasure, whatever the weird hours.
15th over: England 53-2 (Duckett 27, Pope 0) A short wait while the keeper collects his helmet. Some super fielding at slip by Bracewell prevents four squeezing through the cordon. A nervous looking Pope does well to survive a probing over by Henry.
14th over: England 53-2 (Duckett 27, Pope 0) A beautiful over from Southee, who not only gets rid of Robinson but sends down three screaming deliveries at Ollie Pope, the first beating the outside edge by a whisker, the third by a whisper as Pope dances down the pitch.
WICKET! Robinson c Bracewell b Southee 2 (England 53-2)
A take-that hoopla with a thick top edge. The ball flies high and behind to backward point where Bracewell holds on with both hands.
13th over: England 53-1 (Robinson 2, Duckett 27) Raised voices filter through from the table tennis match going on next door. Duckett and Robinson – the night owl? – prod at Henry and pick up four with this and that. Apparently England called for the heavy roller this morning.
12th over: England 49-1 (Robinson 1, Duckett 24) An offkey Jerusalem greets Southee. He creeps back to his mark, like a man who has been swimming in his new party trousers. Just a single from the over, a little push into the covers by Duckett.
Checkerboard grass at the Basin Reserve. “Shows how England have flipped the script,” says Steven Finn. “250 in the last innings when you’ve been in the field for 200 overs is tricky with fatigue and everything. The fact we’re talking about it how quick they’re going to get the runs rather than the challenge is a credit to the way England play.”
Southee has the ball, here we go…
It is sunny and altogether gorgeous in Wellington. While I make a quick cup of tea – do send me an email or two.
And in another world, some news:
Massive story: 16 live IPL games on free-to-air TV in the UK (ITV) for the next five years
For context, BBC showed 16 live Hundred games (10 men’s/6 women’s) on linear channels last year https://t.co/KpfsfbyjhZ
— Matt Roller (@mroller98) February 27, 2023
The baton was handed over with great grace yesterday as Kane Williamson overtook Ross Taylor to become New Zealand’s highest Test run scorer.
Congratulations Kane for becoming NZ’s highest Test run-scorer. This achievement is a testament to your hard work and dedication to Test Cricket, of which I was privy to for a number of years. Here’s to many more 🍷
— Ross Taylor (@RossLTaylor) February 26, 2023
Preamble
Hello and welcome to the final curtain. The culmination of England’s Test winter that started in Rawalpindi on December 1 and finishes three months later a hemisphere and a flat white away.
England need just 210 runs for a clean sweep of five wins from five games in Pakistan and New Zealand, and to become the first England team since the 19th century to win all their winter Tests. It would also be their seventh consecutive Test win – and if I’d told you that a year ago, after England had lost all 10 wickets for 56 runs in 22.4 overs at Sydney for a 146-run defeat inside three days and a 4-0 Ashes whitewash, you would sent for the white coats and the concussion Test.
The Kiwis, whose stock has fallen nearly as quickly as England’s has risen, need nine wickets to make England the fourth team in Test history to lose after enforcing the follow-on. Throw in a new ball, a michievous pitch, and bullish captains – anything could happen.
Zac Crawley must watch from the pavilion, after a brisk one-upmanship innings of 24, 20 of them in boundaries, mulling over his summer chances. He is probably first in line for the chop when YJB – last spotted watching Leeds v Hull at Headingley on Friday night – returns. Nightwatchman Ollie Robinson and Ben Duckett will start the chase at 9.30pm GMT.
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Tanya Aldred
